29, we’re all fine !

Email from Mary:

Hey dude,

They are writing about us.

Also, this video, shared by Hester :

also:

My birthday cake this year looked like this:

birthday

Seriously, my name is even on it.

So, 29 what’s up?

I’ve been calling it my bonus year, to everyone that asks what I’m doing with my life, or if I’ll ever get married, or when I think is too old to have children. Actually, I tell the people that aren’t asking deeply personal questions as much as I tell the group above, that 29 is my bonus year.

I’m not alone in thinking that 29 is a special time in a young woman’s life – forget motherhood or the start of menstruation (ha!) nope – it’s turning 29,

Like most people of my generation, I’m quick to say that my 20s, frankly, kind of sucked. There’s a cultural consensus that modern post-college twentysomethings are in a strange extended adolescence, full of “the contradictions and anxieties that come with being over-educated, minimally employed, mostly single, and on your own,” according to the Tumblr turned book F*ck! I’m in My Twenties. What’s less acknowledged is the moment when it all starts to turn around.

Ann Friedman’s article, aptly expresses a feeling that myself and many of my cohorts seem to be feeling, that, by 29,  “you give way fewer fucks.”

I think it is easy at this juncture to lament the friends getting married and starting families, and attempt to focus on 29 as this amazing time in life for single women to focus on themselves.

But then, are you doomed to become that obnoxious single woman bragging about jetting off to foreign countries, and crying into her Merlot on Friday nights? Or the one that’s decided to devote her life to cats. Or the one obsessively online dating, trying to find someone, anyone?

Truthfully, if you’ve made it this far – through the tunnel of self doubt, over the “there’s nobody left” abyss and the “what am I doing” mountain – you’re left with you.

And, whatever happens, its a great time to become a better friend to yourself.

By now, you certainly know what won’t make you feel happy and fulfilled – and it’s time to start seriously looking into what will.

A job you don’t really like?

Toxic relationships?

Hobbies you don’t actually enjoy?

Probably not going to uplift you and make you feel good about life.

If you are alone, it’s more difficult to hide from yourself and what you really want. Not that the magic of 29 doesn’t or can’t affect everyone – it’s just that if you are getting/ married and/or have children – there is a lot of different “magic” in your life, and other things that might be taking priority. It’s a different set of fewer fucks given when you have a two year old, or are supporting a husband through law school.

I love my married friends, and my mom friends. We are doing different things. But, another example of just not giving an f – bomb, just because you are doing something different, no one is winning or losing. I know that you have your own struggles, and sometimes it’s hard too.

We’re all really just doing our best.

So that’s it.

29 is reaching a point when you are learning to be cool with yourself and the majority of things in your life (or kicking them to the curb), and you really start to treat yourself as a good friend that you want the best for.

29 – I’m really, honestly, feeling pretty fine.

 

 

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