Huntsman

I just made 3 “vlogs” that didn’t work. The first one was too quiet (I am sensitive to the fact that my neighbours upstairs can probably hear me, and I don’t want them to think that I am a weirdo that talks to myself.) The second time I wasn’t actually recording, the third time I felt ridiculous so I just silently looked at myself and raised my eyebrows a few times.

What I wanted to show were a few things:

1. The Device:Image

I should be asleep right now because my job is crazy and I told myself I would start going in early to make full use of the work day. Instead I am planning rejected arts and crafts projects with mop handles, electrical tape and my lunch kit.

I have loose plans to move / kill / extricate:

Image

I am not sure if this photo really does justice without something to scale. Essentially, this beast is about the diameter of a baseball.  I am not positive that the device would hold all of it’s limbs inside of it. Every time it moves I start shrieking, I honestly can’t help myself. I wish he would just go hide out somewhere out of my eye sight. This apartment is huge and with no furniture in it. Where he is right now is at the end of my bed. Perfect.

My first run in with a Huntsman was when I still lived at my friend and coworkers house, after I had just arrived. We had all watched a movie and gone our separate ways …

It just scratched itself. It is literally licking it’s chops.  I don’t know what it is doing. Probably planning to bite me later.

This is some David Attenborough shit going down right here.

Anyway … we had all just gone to bed and buddy the giant hell spider was on the wall next to my bed. I tried really hard to be cool but ended up needing to wake up my friend’s boyfriend to come and get rid of it. As he left my basement room he started to laugh, when I asked him why he was laughing he told me that he would tell me in the morning. OF COURSE I persisted, he then explained the number of other spiders likely living in the downstairs was large. More than 10.

So I am not surprised that I am where I am right now. This is why people need other people. If Trav was here now this would be over and we would be asleep by now. If I had a roommate we would have likely psyched ourselves up and be en route to a 24 hour clinic with spider bites (or asleep).

My solution now is to brush my teeth and wait him out, with my slippers on top of my night stand for easy access (they have thick rubber soles) and the device near my right hand, until I pass out.

I might also watch the 30 Moments in Britney Spears’ 30 years again. Did you know she is 30 this week?

(Non sequiturs, no sleep, spiders .. it all relates)

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